Up until a few days, I was a completely secret blogger. No one knew I had a blog and didn't realise the countless hours a day I spent on my laptop was spent writing posts, reading and finding new blogs and taking part in twitter chats. Like I said, it wasn't until a few days ago that I had the courage to tell my close family and boyfriend that I had this little space and thought of doing so scared me to no end. However, the reaction was not what I expected, but first let me explain why I was a secret blogger in the first place.
I have been reading blogs for three years plus. At the beginning, the first blogs I was reading blogs were by big, successful bloggers and by that I mean that they had made a career by blogging. I dabbled with the idea of starting one, but I always saw those bloggers and thought that I would never get to their level, so why even try? I started one back in May 2013 and deleted it within week, under the impression that I wasting my time and terrified that people I knew would find it. I had this idea in my head that my blog wasn't worth telling anyone and it wouldn't be good enough to show the people around me. Thinking about it now, it's silly, but at the time, the thought that people would read it embarrassed me.
I started this blog in September 2013 and once again, I started secretly blogging. I had enjoyed doing it for that short time in May and I thought, if I love it do it. If I feel uncomfortable showing people, then don't. It was my choice. I am quite a private person on social media, so to begin with on here I never revealed my location or had a picture of myself. I even didn't follow any blogs that were from the same county as me, just in case we had some sort of mutual friends that would end up finding my blog! I realise now that I was being too paranoid and now I really don't care about the location of the blog, but at the time these thoughts went through my head. If it would make me feel more comfortable, then I wouldn't follow blogs with a similar location.
The thought of people I knew finding my blog worried me the most, because I wouldn't know what the reaction would be. I think that's the scariest aspect about telling people and why I kept it quiet all this time, you don't know how they will react. Will I be laughed at? Will people understand? What will they say about it behind my back? Again, paranoia, but I don't think I'm alone in thinking these things at the time and at some point, without thinking about it or not, these thoughts will go through your head. Maybe for a tiny second or maybe they'll be in your head for many months. It's important to realise, it's not that I'm embarrassed about my blog, I'm embarrassed about what people may think.
When I told my family a few days ago, everyone seemed to have different reactions. My mum did not have a clue what I was talking about! 'So what actually is a blog?' 'How do people know about it?' 'Where do you find a blog?'. All she understands that it is my hobby and I enjoy it. My brother was just happy for me, telling me he was really proud and got the impression I was like Zoella, 'no, not like Zoella. Not like Zoella at all'. My boyfriend once again was just happy that I was doing something like this in my free time, but once again I don't think he really understands the aspect of talking about makeup and clothes online. They understand that I'm not ready to show anyone and when I am they are the first people I'll show.
I am still a secret blogger and I don't think that is a bad thing. If I'm more comfortable keeping it my space at this moment in time, than that's okay. I will show people in the future. For those who are also secret bloggers and want to share their blog, the thought it worse than anything else. The idea is so daunting, but it isn't as bad as you'd think. If you're not comfortable telling anyone this moment in time, then don't, when you are, you will.
I'd love to talk to some more secret bloggers, so you can drop me an email if you like at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Are you a secret blogger? Or were you? How did you tell people about your blog? It'd be lovely if you could share your stories.
Labels: lifestyle, secret blogger